The moment my companion begins to talk about me in that very concerned way regarding how I will “end up” at the rate I’m going, I immediately find an excuse to go for a cup of coffee.
If not, I run to the bathroom in keeping with the scores of times I find myself doing so without any prompting from her.
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This pattern has emerged over the last few years as I see myself growing slower and slower in step with each passing day, getting thinner and looking older – even as my trainer looks at me with a state of dismay bordering on fear that that I might drop dead from fighting up in the public city savannah grass with youths who can be my grand children.
Despite my keen awareness of the deficiency in all my natural personal capabilities however, I am ever mindful – and sometimes very frightful – at the fate which many of my contemporaries have suffered in recent times, including:
- Strokes of ill-luck from which they are yet to come back;
- Heart attacks that have left them with pace-makers working over time to, keep them alive;
- Enlarged prostrates which demand that overflowing bags be emptied in the most embarrassing situations; and
- Devastating moments when one discovers that one’s young and sexy caregiver has emptied one’s savings account – as if you foolishly thought that the cuddling you received in her big breasts and the spicy whiff of her warm, finger-licking crutch was being offered for free.
But so much for the dream. It’s time to face reality.
My doctor advised me recently that even though I only stayed in the general hospital for one night after suffering my own stroke, I am a well-qualified candidate for another wave since I have not modified my diet nor my lifestyle enough.
“Harum”, my doc says, “If you keep up like this, you will implode. And your dear wife will have to pay a drastically larger amount of money for your coffin to accommodate
So, having appeased the little woman at home by starting to take longer walks, eating less greasy doubles, and consuming more fresh fruit in small quantities, I think I am back on the road to real recovery – although it’s not showing in my projection.
I guess that’s my priest administered me with the sacrament of Extreme Unction when last I went to church and he found me in a corner where I thought no one could see me. But that’s life, as Frank Sinatra sang.
After all, I haven’t been able to make an impression on my young girl friend since my wife followed me to her house and took away the pump which she had bought for me personally. Since then I’ve been like the ass in the lion’s skin, if you know what I mean.
So it’s just after the nightly tv news and I’m headed for bed with the full understanding that I will sleep for about two hours straight, then find myself periodically find myself walking to and from bed and bathroom, holding my bag and holding my breath, waiting for the dawn to break out in a bright new day on my blessed island.
God night, beautiful world! Sigh!
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Communications Masters Course Content
The Approach – A multi-pronged presentation based on an on-line platform including One-on-One Teaching; Zoom Group sessions; Intensive assignments completed by the student with Instructor’s corrections; suggestions for re-do and re-presentation; Field Work; Social media activities.
Areas of endeavor will include:
Journalism – Writing a News report; Features : Human Interest, News and Special
Lay out; Photography; News Analysis; Conducting an interview; Editing; Sub Editing; The Night Production/Printing/Distribution; and Pod cast.
Advertising – Copy Writing; Concept; Radio, TV and Press presentations; Proposals; Client relations; Role of the Account Executive; Accounts and Fee Structures; Media Relations; Meetings with clients; In-house huddles; Confidentiality.
Public Relations – Writing News releases for various media; Media relations; Understanding the Corporate World; Problems and opportunities; Problem/Opportunity areas; Political clients : the mechanics; Market segments; Public appearances of clients; Presentations by clients; Competitive Presentations to clients; Attending Parliament, Political Meetings and Business mnterest group gatherings; Show time.
Crime – Becoming acquainted with the Police and making contacts; Building relationships with the Criminal element, Churches and Community organizations; Understanding the situation from the perspective of Psychiatrists, Religious people, Community Leaders, Local Government officials, Social Workers, Educators and Victims.
Business and Industry – Knowing the Business and what it strives on; its principles and protocols, the Law; Owning and operating a Media House – the hazards of possible ligation and threats to one’s life and safety; its vital role in helping people shape images of themselves and their behaviour patterns; their collective goals and ambitions in terms of their identification with those whom they have put in power.
Social Media – The ifs and buts; Cultivating relationships with the young, bright and very savvy; Your personal style; Coping with rapid change; Avoiding becoming irrelevant.
Overseas exposure and further education – Writing stories for overseas networks; Improving professional skills by enrolment in courses and membership in international associations; Pursuing personal development courses and other endeavors such as Yoga and Martial Arts